I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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