Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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