my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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