STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
