My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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