I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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