her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
