You smell like stripper and shame
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
