And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
