you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Randomize
