I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize