Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just had sex on a roof
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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