well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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