And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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