And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
