i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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