i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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