Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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