we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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