i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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