I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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