So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
