God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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