in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
