I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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