but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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