i'm lost and i look like a hooker
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm just crazy horny about you
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
