i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
