if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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