Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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