It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just gargled with NyQuil
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
