Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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