You're earring is so big in my mouth
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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