you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
