She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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