So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
