Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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