we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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