Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
