Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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