I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
