The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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