just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
