Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I am naked and annoyed.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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