I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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