so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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