I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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