drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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