I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
