ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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