I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
