He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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