pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize