she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
