Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
