dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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